AN AMERICAN choir visited a town school this week.

A 12-strong choir from the Berkeley Preparatory School in Tampa, Florida, sang at St Joseph’s Catholic Primary School in Thame on Monday, March 26.

As part of their UK tour, the American choir performed some of their favourite numbers to the delighted St Joseph’s schoolchildren.

In return, St Joseph’s 20-strong school choir sang a song from ‘Zimbe’, a fusion of traditional African song and jazz.

The whole school was there to see both performances and to join in with some ‘community singing’.

Claire Kerr, headteacher at St Joseph’s, said: “We are very proud of our school choir, they have performed in both local and national events. It is great to have this opportunity to welcome another choir.”

Research has reveals that nearly half of children aged seven to 16 in the East of England think that the world wide web was invented by Apple boss Steve Jobs or Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg.

And one in eight believe music mogul Simon Cowell is responsible for the birth of the web, with Alexander Graham Bell and Albert Einstein also given a lion’s share of the credit.

Further findings reveal a more concerning side to internet usage by youngsters.

Although they’re deemed old enough to use the internet, nearly all of the children surveyed in East Anglia admit to accidently clicking links which led them to adult websites, downloading viruses to their computers and visiting a website they were unsure of ‘because it sounded like fun’.

A further one in six confess to being embarrassed by a picture someone else has posted of them online and downloading ‘free’ music from the internet.

One in four also report being upset by something they’ve seen online and admit to being friends with people on Facebook who they don’t know in real life.

So who does know the most when it comes to using the internet?

For those children in East Anglia one in six believe it’s them, while over a quarter believe they know more than everyone else in the family.

Dad definitely rules the roost overall nearly half of children revealing he knows his stuff when it comes to the internet, followed by mum and older siblings.

And the story isn’t that different when it comes to sharing internet safety, over three quarters say it’s Mum or Dad who’s had ‘the talk’ with them, followed by one in three who get their advice from teachers or grandparents.

When it comes to Facebook, who is it children really want to befriend? Justin Bieber tops the chart with nearly one in five (18 per cent) young fans, followed by over one in ten (14 per cent) of One Direction-ers, with Amy Childs and Cheryl Cole fighting it out for third place in the hearts of the UK’s children.

AN under-age drinking crackdown has been launched in Aylesbury.

Police say they will be stepping up patrols around the town centre, and youngsters found with alcohol will have their booze confiscated.

A number of venues, including LJ’z in the High Street, are set to hold under 18 nights over the summer.

Youngsters have been warned that if they drink alcohol before arriving, they will be turned away.

Aylesbury town centre Inspector Kelly Glister said: “This is definitely not about stopping teenager people from going out and having fun with their mates.

“Venues such as LJ’z offer under-18 nights, which is a safe and excellent way for young people to socialise and we fully support them.

“What we do have a problem with, however, is poor behaviour fuelled by drink and we will not tolerate individuals who turn up drunk, or with alcohol.

“We will be present and highly visible and on hand to deal with any disorder or drunk behaviour robustly.

“Anyone totally incapable can expect to be arrested and spend a night in the cells.”

THE fifth food festival in Thame has been given the go-ahead to take place this year, thanks to a bumper sponsorship deal.

Lotte Duncan, TV chef, writer, broadcaster and patron of Thame Food Festival, said: “We are delighted to announce that headline sponsor McCormick Schwartz has agreed a two-year sponsorship deal with Thame Food Festival that guarantees its future.

“It is a fabulous endorsement for this wonderful regional celebration of artisan local food and drink produce, local food producers and local food retailers.

“The exciting list of mouth watering events and star names is now being finalised.

“Those already confirmed include Adam and Kush from the BBC’s Very Hungry Frenchman and festival supporter Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons; chefs Adam Simmonds of Danesfield House and keen festival regulars Giancarlo and Katie Caldesi.

“All will be performing demos in the festival kitchen.

“Please look out for big star names that will make this year’s event even bigger and better than last year.”

The 2011 festival saw more than 60 stall holders and crowds of 10-15,000 people descend on Thame to enjoy a fantastic free and fun-packed family day of food.

A NEW drugs and alcohol rehab centre could soon be set up in Aylesbury.

An application has been put to Aylesbury Vale District Council for the change of use of a building in Friarage Court on Rickfords Hill.

The plans, submitted by the OASIS Partnership and Oxford Health NHS Foundation Trust, are to change the currently vacant offices into a non-residential institution for a drug and alcohol rehab centre.

A spokesman for Oxford Health NHS Foundation Trust and the OASIS Partnership, said: “The application was presented to the planning committee in March this year, when the members resolved to approve the application subject to certain conditions around security and fencing.

“A decision notice has not yet been issued and in addition, if approval is given, the Trust, along with OASIS, still needs to consider whether the building, cost-wise, would be a viable option to house its services.

“Drug and alcohol services are currently being provided at the Tindal Centre and Walton Street, Aylesbury. The Walton Street lease ends soon which presents an ideal opportunity to integrate both services into one single and centrally situated site, meeting government recommendations to combine health and social care services.

“The Friarage Court building, at this stage, is the most suitable premises found in terms of its location and size. Those accessing drug and alcohol services are seeking to change their lives in a positive way by ending their addiction,” said the spokesman.

“Providing services in city centre locations, which are easily accessible, is of vital importance, not only to the clients of the services but also the local community.

“Evidence shows having combined and centrally located services reduces anti social behaviour and crime connected to drug and alcohol misuse.

“If permission is agreed, we will continue to encourage open dialogue to ensure any concerns are addressed, and that reassurance is given that drug and alcohol services can help improve the local environment by supporting those proactively seeking to change their lives for the better.”

A decision date has not yet been set for the centre.

HS2 Ltd has begun a consultation on how it should assess the environmental impact of the controversial scheme.

The ‘scope and methodology’ consultation document defines the environmental topics that will be assessed.

It sets out the survey methods that are to be used, which geographical areas will be included and the period of time over which effects will be assessed.

During the eight-week consultation, HS2 Ltd is asking councils along the line of route and bodies such as Natural England for their views on what needs to be included in the assessment.

The quango says it will consider all responses received. But those which address specific local issues will be held on file and considered later as part of the public consultation on the environmental statement, due to be held in spring 2013.

A NEW youth project is set to be launched in Elmhurst next Wednesday.

The community run Elmhurst Youth Project will be open to all people aged between 11 and 16, and will be run on Wednesday evenings at the Alfred Rose Park Community Centre.

Elke Maldar, chairman of the Elmhurst Youth Project management committee, said: “The local community has worked hard to secure funding and will continue to do so to ensure the future of the Elmhurst Youth Project.

“It would be great to welcome local people to the launch event, so they can meet with the young people and learn more about the club.”

Jenny Puddefoot, county councillor and Mayor of Aylesbury Town, who will be formally opening the youth club, said: “The launch of the Elmhurst Youth Project shows just what a community can achieve by working together.

“This project is a real credit to the hard work of local people of all ages who have worked to provide a welcoming and enjoyable place for young people in Elmhurst.”

Next week’s launch event will be held between 7pm and 9pm.

Funding has come from Aylesbury Town Council and Bucks County Council, and is on the lookout for further funding. It will offer table tennis, snooker, Wii games, crafts and sumo suits.

WATER shortages will not affect the quality of the greens at a leading golf course.

An impressive recycling facility at The Oxfordshire near Thame ensures every drop of water which falls on the 250 acre site is captured and re-used.

Course manager Sean Wilson said: “The site has been designed so that every bit of water, including the water in the car parks, drains into the four lakes, and we use two of them as reservoirs.”

Golf courses generally are big consumers of water.

But Mr Wilson said The Oxfordshire was lucky to act on the advice of an American architect, Reece Jones, who recommended installing a system to harvest all the water on site in case of future problems with water shortages. As a result, surface water runs into gully pipes which travel underground to the lakes, which have a capacity to hold 198,000 cubic metres of water.

Three pumps then pump water to 1,400 sprinklers on site, ensuring the greens remain moist.

Mr Wilson said: “It’s important to keep the greens irrigated, if you don’t the ground gets compacted and hard and that will affect the game of golf.

“Because we have this recycling facility we are not suffering from the water shortage at all and can continue to offer top class greens.”

The Oxfordshire Golf Club has never used mains water to irrigate its course since the club was taken over by Leaderboard in 2002.

THE chairman of Weston Turville Parish Council says he may be forced to quit the village if plans to build more than 3,000 homes linking it to Aylesbury are approved.

More than 200 people packed into a planning meeting last week as the council unanimously voted to oppose a bid to build in Hampden Fields.

Another public meeting is being held in Bedgrove tonight, Wednesday, with activists set to outline their opposition to the plans.

If given the go-ahead, the new housing estate, which also include 10ha of employment land, a doctors surgery, a care home and land for a park and ride, will link Weston Turville and Bedgrove.

After Thursday’s meeting, parish council chairman Hugh Gwilliams told the Herald: “I moved here in 1991, and I had no intention of moving out.

“But this planning application may force me to move, it’s as simple as that, and that’s how it will be for other people as well.

“There isn’t the work here, there isn’t the infrastructure, it really is absolutely crazy.

“The parish council is wholly against this application. We don’t want to be part of Aylesbury.”

Cliff Hide, who heads the Hampden Fields Action Group, said around 150 people had signed up in the past week.

Mr Hide said: “I genuinely have yet to meet anyone that supports this application.

“In their own consultation, 86 per cent of the respondents were against it.”

Tonight, Wednesday, a public meeting will be held at the Bedgrove Pavillion at 7.30pm.

It has been called by ward councillors Mark Winn, Jenny Bloom and Tom Hunter-Watts, all Conservative, and Mr Hide will be among the speakers.

The bid has been put forward by a consortium of developers, including Aylesbury College.

Last week critics complained they were not being given enough time to respond to a planning consultation.

Yesterday an Aylesbury Vale District Council spokesman said: “The council will accept letters of representation up until the date of determination of the application.”

AYLESBURY Vale is considered to be one of the best places to live according to a national survey.

The Vale ranked sixth out of 119 rural local authority districts, in a quality of life survey produced by Halifax; and came second in the south east

Local performance was ranked across key areas including employment, housing, the environment, education, health, good broadband access, traffic, weather and crime.

Councillor John Cartwright, Leader of Aylesbury Vale District Council, said: “This survey confirms what everyone who lives in Aylesbury Vale already knows - we live in one of the best parts of Great Britain.

“There are of course many factors which make up this kind of assessment, but we believe that great quality public services play an important role in any area.”

The Halifax survey highlights several reasons for the Vale’s high rating. These include:

Residents are fit and well with 94 per cent reporting general good health, with an average life expectancy of 80; the employment rate is high at 77.6 per cent and many residents enjoy relatively high incomes with weekly average earnings of £720; and CO2 emissions stand at 2.1 tonnes per person, well ahead of the national average of 2.21 tonnes.

The survey announcement coincides with the publication of the district council’s new Corporate Plan which focuses on key promises to improve the area.

Over the next three years AVDC will focus on four priorities: protecting and improving the living experience; growing the local economy; delivering efficient and economic services; and improving communication and interaction with customers.

Cllr Cartwright said: “The authority is proud of its district and will be doing everything it can to ensure that Aylesbury Vale remains right at the top of the table.”

In the south east Aylesbury Vale was beaten by just one other local authority district - Waverley.

Across the country as a whole the Vale was beaten by East Cambridgeshire, Wychavon in the West Midlands, South Cambridgeshire, East Hertfordshire and Waverley.

Halifax used data from a number of sources to produce their results. This included local authorities, DEFRA, the Met Office and the Department for Transport.

THE rotary clubs of Thame and Haddenham and District are holding an event for people to find out their blood pressure levels.

The day, run in partnership with The Stroke Association and the Ambulance Service, will take place at the Co-operative Supermarket on the High Street in Thame on Saturday, April 28.

Between 10am and 2pm, the public will be offered a free blood pressure monitoring service with information and advice on stroke-related health issues.

At the same time the clubs will carry out a street collection in Thame town centre to raise funds on behalf of the Stroke Association.

Rachel Seyler, from the Stroke Association, said: “Thousands of strokes could be prevented every year if more people took steps to monitor their blood pressure.

“You can keep your blood pressure under control by making a few healthy lifestyle changes. For example, eating a balanced diet in saturated fat, exercising regularly and cutting your salt intake will go a long way. Knowing your blood pressure is the vital first step and I strongly urge everyone to go and get theirs checked.”

Rotarian Tyrell Gillman, coordinator of the event, added: “Over the years this event may have prevented thousands of people from having a stroke.

“It may be quite worrying to discover you could be at risk of a stroke, but once it is highlighted it is possible to make changes which will reduce that risk.

“The team will welcome any query, even if it is just for a chat, and help you find out how strokes can be prevented through simple lifestyle choices.

“Regular exercise, healthy eating and giving up smoking can all help to regulate blood pressure.”

Visit www.thame.rotaryweb.org and www.haddenham-rotary.org.uk or call the Stroke Association on 0303 30 33 100.

AYLESBURY MP David Lidington has held talks with two pivotal figures in the pro-HS2 movement.

The Europe minister met with transport secretary Justine Greening and HS2’s chief engineer Andrew McNaughton – and he has been encouraged by the feedback they have both given him.

He also believes that despite widespread anger over the principle of HS2, people do now need to start ‘engaging’ with HS2 Ltd to secure ‘the best possible outcome’ if the scheme does go ahead.

He said: “I was pleased I was able to meet the Secretary of State as it allowed me to express to her directly the strength of feeling in the constituency over her department’s proposals and confirm that I will continue to put forward the arguments from my constituents that the scheme should be abandoned.

“We also discussed compensation and mitigation and I emphasised that a generous and comprehensive compensation scheme should be established as soon as possible.

“On mitigation, I was encouraged by her promise, in her words, to work ‘extra special hard’ to limit the environmental impact of HS2 on local residents.

“Ms Greening told me that aircraft noise was a huge issue for her constituents being under the Heathrow flight path, so she could understand the strength of feeling in Buckinghamshire.”

He said that information on which properties will be the subject of compulsory purchase orders should be available by the end of this year and the consultation on compensation is due to start after the local government elections in May.

At the meeting with Professor McNaughton, Mr Lidington raised concern about the impact of the route through Aylesbury Vale.

He said: “One impression that I got from Professor McNaughton and his colleagues was that they are keen to listen to local people on how they want mitigation measures to look and what sort of mitigation measures could be implemented.

“Of course, this does not mean that HS2 would accept every suggestion that was put forward but nevertheless I felt this was encouraging.

“If any constituents have any suggestions they would like me to put forward to HS2, please let me know.

“HS2 also confirmed that many other issues such as the status of the road network following construction will also be discussed at a local level.

“This reinforced my belief that while I completely understand that many local people are opposed to this scheme in principle, and though I have argued that case strongly myself, it is also important that local communities begin the process of engaging with HS2 on what they consider the best possible outcome if the scheme does go ahead.”

Mr Lidington said that while there is still a ‘long way to go’ before HS2 is approved, he believes there is little chance of the scheme being defeated in parliament.

“I have to say to you that if there were a completely free vote in the Commons now, with no guidance from party leaders, HS2 would be supported by a very large majority.”

IN TIME for the Easter break, reporter Kirsten Rawlins visited Buckinghamshire Railway Centre at Quainton to take a closer look at the family attraction.

AS I was born one of two girls, my father has always attempted to share with me his passion for engines and locomotives – with, unsurprisingly, very little success.

I was therefore less than enthused by the prospect of learning how to drive a steam train at Buckinghamshire Railway Centre when the suggestion was put to me by my editor.

But having been handed the task, I reluctantly agreed, and found myself braving the frost at the crack of dawn, heading down to Quainton to embark on a day of trains and coal. I wasn’t exactly overjoyed, to say the least.

But upon my arrival, I received a warm welcome from fireman Paul Donovan and driver Bob Randall, both of whom were to be showing me the ropes for the day.

I quickly got down to interviewing the pair as soon as I got indoors, desperate to make an attempt at both warming up and waking up, only to be stopped and handed a cup of tea by Bob.

“Before we do anything, we always have to start the day on a belly of tea,” he said.

“It’s a little known fact that steam engines are in fact run on tea.”

This was a welcomed essential on my part, to say the least – and a general indication of the way things work at the centre. Everyone is jovial and relaxed, each of them there on a voluntary basis working on the centre’s engines.

Next, after donning a delightful pair of men’s overalls, I was led to the locomotive I was to be working on for the day – Millom, a 1946-built saddle tank engine.

I then worked with Paul shovelling coal and wood into the firebox and, as we waited for the engine to heat up from the fire, I watched as Bob oiled the joints beneath the engine as he described to me some of the wonderfully unique locomotives possessed by the centre, and the stories behind their salvage and preservation.

It was at this point that I begun to understand why people would willingly drag themselves out of bed to voluntarily get their hands dirty working on old machines which travel more or less no where at all, at meagre speeds by modern standards.

These beastly machines are in fact fully functional historical artefacts, reminiscent of an era when people did not have the luxury of fast cars, motorways or high speed rail to get them from A to B.

There was no flicking of a switch, or the turning of keys to start these machines up. The engines instead required loving work by their staff whose long shifts, often lasting up to 12 hours, even meant they had to cook their food on the move using the heat of the firebox – including frying bacon on a shovel, which I was lucky enough to have been given a demonstration of.

What’s more, their passengers would spend their journeys reading, talking and enjoying the scenery, rather than blasting music from their iPods or hurriedly completing reports on laptops and iPads.

Buckinghamshire Railway Centre to me was much like a living time capsule, giving an insight into a bygone era in which time was far less of the essence.

And much to my surprise, when I finally got round to driving the locomotive up and down the track guided by Bob, I was having a fantastic time.

Taking control of such a large piece of machinery, which was functioning as a result of the team’s hard work was incredibly rewarding, and actually a lot more exciting than I had originally anticipated.

Learning the role of the fireman and the driver, and the way in which the machines worked and were controlled was actually fascinating – as was seeing how a train line was once run, without the aid of electricity or digital systems.

So, speaking from the perspective of someone who would have put any railway centre at the bottom of their list of places to go, I would urge anyone to pay the centre a visit – it might just take you by surprise.

A HARDWARE shop based in Thame since 1994 is closing its doors for the final time at the end of the month.

Peter and Julie Mullen have run The Money Spinner in Cornmarket for 18 years, having lived in the town since 1981.

“There’s a couple of reasons why we’re leaving,” said Peter, 53, who has worked in Thame since 1976.

“The business has slowly become less and less viable, with the biggest problem being the rise in wholesale prices as a lot of our products are oil-based.

“The cost of some of our products has gone up by as much as 50-100%.

“The High Street in Thame has also changed a lot as well. Any industry which used to be in Thame has now gone, and it has now become more of a satellite town.

“There is no-one on the High Street during the week and at the weekends people leave town to go to shopping centres and such as well.

“We also became grandparents about a year ago, and our family live up by Birmingham and Bristol, so we’re hoping to move somewhere more central like Stratford so we can be closer to them.

“We wanted to leave last year, but we had obligations with the lease.

“We’ve now managed to find someone to take over the lease however, so we won’t be leaving behind an empty shop. We can’t give details of who is moving in, but it’s a service as well as a shop. We would like to thank all our customers who have become more like friends to us as well.”

IT seems likely that, in what passes for a garret in the fleshpots of Hollywood, some ambitious young screenwriter is even now working on a big budget movie treatment for the rainy afternoon favourite Connect 4.

Or perhaps he’s toying with a treatment which offers more potential for gore, like Hangman.

And imagine what someone like Peter Greenaway would come up with if he decided to make a cerebral masterpiece based on numbers card game Uno.

Why these musings? Well, because the movie makers seems to have decided that they’ve milked the last drops of possibility from the comic books, computer games and even theme park rides that have provided the springboard for film franchises of varying degrees of success in recent years and have gone back to basics.

That means that millions of dollars has been spent in conjuring up a big screen version of a game which most people manage to play perfectly well with two bits of scrap paper and a couple of pens.

The team which decided that Battleships – yes, tedious grid game Battleships, you must have played it at some time – was ripe for the blockbuster treatment have form in this area – and after the inexplicable success they have enjoyed with loud and stupid series Transformers who is to say that they won’t be on the money again this time?

Centre stage in daft ‘Independence Day afloat’ offering Battleship – just the one in the title, but there is a whole fleet involved – are the busy but bland Taylor Kitsch and the busy but bored-looking Liam Neeson.

Taylor is a keen young naval officer predictably at odds with gruff skipper Liam, not least because he’s got engaged to the old man’s hottie daughter.

But our two heroes have to put their differences behind them when a Pacific Ocean exercise goes pear-shaped, and do battle with a monstrous and powerful alien vessel and save mankind.

An appearance by chart star Rihanna in the background should serve as a warning – such cynical cash-in casting is rarely a success.

It’s just as brainless as you’d expect, and if you can ignore the $200 million price tag and the cardboard characters and just switch off your brain it will fill an hour or two until Marvel Avengers Assemble, coming up at the end of the month,

> When a film has a title like The Cabin In The Woods it’s a fair bet that said cabin should be avoided like the plague.

Sadly the bright young things in Drew Goddard’s new take on the horror icon have apparently never seen this sort of movie, and cheerfully head off to a really, really remote location for a paaaaarty weekend.

Goddard, who makes his directing debut here, penned Lost and Cloverfield, and also involved is Buffy bod Joss Whedon, so you can count on all sorts of confusing bells and whistles being added to what is a simple storyline. Together they do their best to confound your expectations and come up with something that isn’t just a by the numbers frightfest, but despite some smart set-ups it remains shallow and silly.

LOVERS are at loggerheads in 1950s-set drama THE DEEP BLUE SEA (12: Artificial Eye), a heart-rending adaptation of a Terence Rattigan play.

Hester Collyer (Rachel Weisz), the wife of respected judge, Sir William Collyer (Simon Russell Beale), is unhappy with her marriage and becomes infatuated with a young fighter pilot, Freddie Page (Tom Hiddleston).

She leaves her husband to start a new life with Freddie under an assumed name, but his interest in her wanes, and as the relationship isn’t really enough for her either, she is driven to despair and contemplates suicide.

Admirers of Rattigan’s work might be thrown by the first 20 minutes in which Hester recalls her romance in a fragmented puzzle of images to the plaintive strains of Samuel Barber’s Concerto for Violin and Orchestra. But then this beautifully acted film reverts to its more traditional aspects, with Weisz on superb form.

Fans of director Terence Davies’s earlier, more autobiographical films, like Distant Voices, Still Lives, will see his signature in its gold-burnished visions of peeling paint, wartime bomb shelters and jaunty pub singalongs.

> Inspired by true events, TEXAS KILLING FIELDS (15: Entertainment In Video), a crime thriller about two cops in Texas City trying to solve several mysterious murders, has plenty of atmosphere yet doesn’t add much to the police-procedural genre. It marks the Hollywood feature debut of Ami Canaan Mann, the daughter of Heat director Michael Mann.

Sam Worthington stars as hard-nosed homicide detective Mike Souder, who reluctantly joins forces with imported New York officer Brian Heigh (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to investigate the killings, which seem to criss-cross local state boundaries, to the annoyance of the fiercely provincial local lawman.

While the film never fully develops its initial whodunnit intrigue, it does sustain its intensity, largely due to a well-assembled supporting cast that includes Jessica Chastain, Chloe Grace Moretz and British actor Stephen Graham.

The standout performance comes from Morgan, who gets a rare showcase to demonstrate his credentials as a likeable, no-nonsense leading man.

Ami Canaan Mann’s movie may not be up to her father’s meticulous standards, but it shows a great deal of promise.

> Ultra-bleak social commentary is mixed with true-life horror in SNOWTOWN (18: Revolver) in which a single mother raising three boys begins a new relationship with a charismatic stranger who protects her family from her abusive ex-partner.

Set in Adelaide in the 1990s, this relentlessly disturbing debut from Australian director Justin Kurzel is based on his homeland’s notorious ‘Bodies in the barrels’ murders.

Seemingly trustworthy John Bunting (Daniel Henshall) is a manipulative psychopath who worms his way into the mother’s deprived family and then grooms her 16-year-old son (Lucas Pittaway) to participate in his shocking crimes.

Henshall is startling, switching between charmer and monster with riveting ease, and the escalating sense of claustrophobia and dread really crawls under the skin.

Grimy visuals and a pulsating soundtrack prove particularly powerful in the killing scenes, although Snowtown frustratingly comes unstuck with an unclear plot and character details, which leave viewers to make too many assumptions about what’s happened and to whom.

> The winner of many awards at international film festivals, gory zombiefest THE REVENANT (15: Universal) splatters onto DVD.

Bart (David Anders), a soldier serving in Iraq, wakes up the morning after his own funeral to discover he’s been resurrected.

Unable to ignore his thirst for blood, Bart knows there’s only one person he can rely on for help, his slacker best pal Joey (Chris Wilde).

The pair realise that Bart’s condition is a perfect opportunity to become vigilante crime-fighters. They start killing the city’s lowlife criminals, who provide a steady supply of blood for Bart, but their spree escalates out of control.

> Billed as “Saw meets Richard & Judy”, KILL KEITH (15: Metrodome) tells how TV presenter Keith Chegwin has been annoying the British public for more than four decades with his cheeky chappy chuckles.

From Swap Shop to Cheggers Plays Pop, The Big Breakfast to GMTV, his irrepressible energy has kept him at the top of his game.

But his reign is about to come to a gory end in this horror comedy, featuring guest appearances by Tony Blackburn, Joe Pasquale and Russell Grant.

Much-loved TV personalities are being gruesomely despatched using a variety of breakfast condiments and as the body count grows, so does the hysteria.

There appears to be no stopping the Breakfast Serial Killer as he marches relentlessly towards his ultimate goal – to kill Keith!

FORMER colleagues of a distinguished BBC cameraman who died after plummeting from a bridge in Aylesbury have voiced their shock this week.

Ingo Prosser, of Welbeck Avenue in Bedgrove, has been described as one of the corporation’s finest after news of his death spread.

Mr Prosser, who was 61 when he died last Tuesday, helped show the world the atrocities happening in Tiananmen Square in 1989, when he filmed the Chinese army opening fire on student protesters.

The popular cameraman, who also filmed the fall of the Berlin Wall and unrest in Northern Ireland, had attended his retirement party just four days before his death.

Staff at the BBC were ‘dumbfounded’ after Mr Prosser died after falling from the Bourg Walk Bridge last week.

His widow has thanked passers-by who rushed to try to save her husband.

Bob Prabhu, a retired senior cameraman, said Mr Prosser’s death had hit colleagues ‘like a meteorite from outer space’, and added: “We were all so dumbfounded with the manner in which his life concluded.”

Mr Prabhu described his former colleague as ‘one of the finest cameramen of the BBC News’ and said his death had rocked the BBC newsroom.

In the latter years of his career, Mr Prosser had battled against Parkinson’s Disease.

Mr Prabhu said despite his health problems, Mr Prosser had impressed his colleagues with his resilience.

Paying tribute to his friend, Mr Prabhu said: “Ingo as a person was amicable, active, enthusiastic with a very wicked sense of humour.

“He was a self motivated news person with a keen eye for pictures and sound.

“He knew what a TV news story was all about.”

The father of two had left the BBC on March 30, and had been set to spend the Easter weekend in Paris with his wife, Fionnuala.

Mr Prabhu said: “His disability was visible to his colleagues, but he always put on a brave face and never felt sorry for himself.

“He still had the fire in him.”

Former BBC news editor Stephen Claypole described Mr Prosser as ‘one of the best of the cameramen, if not the best’.

He began working for the BBC in the late 1970s, securing a staff job in 1982.

Mr Prabhu said his friend would be best remembered for his work on June 3 1989, when he braved – ‘to the point of madness’ – to stay in Tiananmen Square when the Chinese Army opened fire.

The footage he shot was later scripted by journalists all over the world, and he captured the moment a tank was caught on a barricade and attacked by protestors.

Mr Prabhu said: “That sums up who Ingo was and why the BBC had much faith in him.”

He moved to Aylesbury in 1984.

This week Mrs Prosser said: “I would like to thank the people that helped Ingo after it happened.”

Mr Prosser, who leaves his wife and sons Mark and Donal, died after falling from the bridge at 2.40pm last Tuesday.

Police have said the death is not suspicious.

An inquest has been opened.

A LUCKY fox cub miraculously survived a huge fire which ripped through a derelict bungalow.

The animal, which has been nicknamed Smoky, was pulled from the ashes by astonished firefighters and has made a full recovery at St Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital.

The blaze happened at Briar Hill Farm, off Bicester Road in Waddesdon.

The bungalow was being used for storage by farmer Gerry Warne, who said: “I don’t know how he survived – if you had seen how big the fire was you would have wondered yourself.”

Mr Warne has also praised firefighters for their quick response and for preventing the blaze from spreading to his nearby home.

“The winds got up and the fire was blowing towards the bungalow we live in so we got very concerned about that but the fire brigade were exceptionally quick and they did a splendid job.

“It was a terrific fire because the building was all old timber and creosote and it went like a bomb.

“The foxes had made burrows right underneath the building.

“When the firefighters moved some rubbish and timbers they found him – he was tiny, I would say only a couple of days old.”

Fire crews from Waddesdon and Aylesbury attended the blaze.

Firefighter and station manager Paul McShane said: “We do occasionally find animals but it is quite rare they survive, especially something that young.

“It was a bit singed but seemed in quite good health.

“To keep it warm one of the firefighters put it inside his jacket.”

Smoky has been cared for by staff at St Tiggywinkles in Haddenham.

Head nurse Clare Campbell said: “He smelled very smoky and his fur was very dense and thick so he had been close to the smoke.

“He was quite sad when he came in, that’s how I would describe it, very sad and very frightened. He was obviously concerned and angry.

“The nurses checked him out and he was given drugs that help clear the airwaves, some antibiotics and some fluids.

“He picked up very quickly, started eating and drinking and putting on weight.

“He’s now in with another fox and doing brilliantly.

“He will remain with other fox cubs and then get put into groups so he can remain as wild as possible. In the summer or early autumn he will be put out into the wild.”

Perhaps surprisingly for a farmer, Mr Warne said he does not mind foxes, who have rarely troubled his animals.

DRIVERS in the Vale have been left out of pocket by just under £30,000 in 10 months by council parking machines which do not give change.

A user of the Aylesbury Vale District Council- owned car parks, Simon Lawrence, put forward a Freedom of Information request to find out how much the authority was making from excess change collected by these machines.

Mr Lawrence said: “I find it increasingly irritating that most of the car park machines in the area don’t give change.

“They seem to set tariffs that are deliberately set at levels that require combinations of small change. For example, there can often be tariffs of £1.30, say. And as most people don’t carry lots of small change they end up paying £1.50 or £2.

“Individually these are relatively small amounts of money, but it made me wonder – in times of austerity – just how much money this amounts to collectively.

“And I was quite shocked that in 10 months to February this year it worked out to be just under £30,000 – quite a lot of money sneakily taken.”

When asked about the machines, Stephen Harding, parking services manager at the district council, claims the reason for its pay and display machines not giving change is that the council is unaware of any machines existing that do.

However a straightforward Google search proves such machines do exist – and are sold by UK firm ‘parcare’.

“We understand some drivers find it frustrating that our pay and display machines do not give change,” said Mr Harding.

“Unfortunately, within the parking industry we are not aware of suppliers that manufacture pay and display machines with the option for change giving, mainly due to the security risks associated with machines having change within them at all times.

“Any surplus change in the parking fund goes toward the costs of running our car parks.

“Our long-term aim is to introduce an alternative method where motorists can pay using their mobile phones.”

In response to the findings, Neil Greig, of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, said: “Getting change from machines is part of good customer service, which unfortunately seems to be something many car park operators have failed to learn over the years.”

A spokesman from the Taxpayers Alliance added: “It’s unfair of the council to fills its coffers by effectively overcharging for parking.

“Drivers shouldn’t pay any more than they have to for parking.”

GIVEN that the length of Chiswick Bridge across the Thames is some 606 feet and just a lick and a spit away from the end of the Boat Race I begin to fear for the rowing skills of both Cambridge and Oxford universities when it comes to judging distances!

When you also take into consideration a broken oar and some bloke ducking in and out of the water I begin to worry about the security for the coming Olympics as well.

Add the type of inane questions asked by sports correspondents and I am considering not bothering with the whole thing during the summer.

Still, as the audiences watch the Games sitting in over priced seats munching cold pasties they can, if they live in this country, gain some confidence with the knowledge that while VAT is charged on new, adult shoes the shoe laces are not chargeable provided they are purchased separately.

This means that in these desperate times it might be worthwhile asking how much your next pair of shoes is without the laces!

Other words of wisdom on the subject can be found on the Inland Revenue web site. For instance the following is of great importance to us all particularly the Chancellor:

Articles of footwear include: boots, shoes, sandals and slippers, even if they are designed for special purposes (such as ballet shoes or studded football boots), and ice-skating or roller-skating boots, with or without skating blades or rollers attached – but not blades or rollers sold on their own, or platform type roller skates for attaching to normal shoes, shoelaces, insoles, heel protectors and stick-on soles sold as separate items.

When it comes to the nuts and bolts of these things the Chancellor wins every time. Who else could be small minded enough to go to such lengths with devious ways to take our money?

I’m off to buy a couple of pairs of platform type skates for normal shoes and a few dozen pairs of shoelaces just for hell of it.